Miracles are real although they are not miracles at all.

Back when . . .

Many years ago for sometime – I’m not avoiding telling you how long, I simply don’t remember – I was in therapy. I don’t remember ever really getting all that much from it except I did absolutely love my psychologist at the time; mainly because I felt safe with him and feeling safe with any man was not my norm back then.


Now . . .

At this time, many years out of therapy and many years studying the Science of Mind and inducing Spirit through my spiritual practices, I find that now my life is richer, more beautiful and much, much healthier. I am more emotionally and spiritually healthy then ever and most of the time I am just plain happy even if the outside world does not reassure me that all is well. Happy, I have learned, is very much a choice and not the result of being prosperous or in love.


Recently my thirty-one year old son moved back into my house for an undetermined amount of time. I was only too willing to make space for him once again both in my heart and at the hearth. What I also knew was that he left as a young man but returned as a man and I needed to remember that and treat him accordingly with all the appropriate respect of an adult. I, well we, both knew that that there would be some challenges. (Initally it was not looking good at all, I admit, I was concerned.)Thank God that I did, however, have faith in possibility because I know that I am not the woman I was then. I have strength and resolve now that is born of my practices, my meditation and my prayers. I am no longer walking the earth in fear, not of anything outside or inside.


The other day while spending time pondering our home situation and wondering what could possibly be the source of our collective pain; I started to remember how much I had always adored him and how much I fought for him and his highest good – THAT IS UNTIL HE LEFT. Yes, at eighteen, Michael decided that the world at large was a better place to be then the sanctuary of his own home. This hit me very, very hard. I was devastated. And while I was doing all of this pondering the other day, I allowed a feeling to come up inside of me that I was unaware of for over a decade. I was harboring: You left me. Yes, silently, deeply and oh so painfully, I was hurt, angry and profoundly sad that Michael had choose to leave (me).


At the moment that this emotion was unearthed, I was able to feel it in the depth of my soul. I felt it everywhere, absolutely everywhere and I realized that I have been afraid to feel safe around him. I was working with an “objection” to him not because of who he is but because I was terrified of feeling that pain again. So here is my miracle: At the moment of this realization something shifted inside of me so powerfully that I could see that all of my current pain and fear was based on something old and just as quickly as I allowed myself to feel it fully – IT left. The feeling left. The pain left. The energy behind the story left. And immediately and dramatically EVERYTHING CHANGED. Without a single conversation or confrontation or explanation life between us and in the home became easier, gentler, sweet, cooperative and loving.


Over a week later and I am still reporting that we have experienced only Peace, cooperation and fun in the house. The moral of this story - OUR HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB. As within, so without has never meant so much to me as this moment. I am blessed to have been guided gently through this process of transformation. Thank you Spirit.