Participating in my own success

Sometimes getting really honest with oneself can have an initial sting that goes to the core of one’s being. Working with my prayer partners often allows me the opportunity to experience this sting. The very inquiry from a friend in a safe place such as, “What’s going on for you?” can lead me into a revelation of honesty that is followed by that “sting”.

For me, living the inspired life is easy. Allowing Spirit to have its way with me is not only easy but fun and it is where I live most comfortably. I am very comfortable in the world of “I don’t know but I’ll figure it out” or when I catch a vision or inspiration, I always just say YES. And I do understand that this is frightening for many but not for me. Give me a problem to solve or ask me to create a sacred ritual or special event or throw me into an experience where I have to speak extemporaneously – ah, there I rise up and perform comfortably with ease and grace.



Now let’s look on the other hand. Ask me to get my home completely organized, to clear out my basement or my attic. Tell me to file all of my paperwork and put things in order. Suggest that I create a schedule in my own home of things that have to be done on a regular basis so my sons and I are all on the same page. God forbid I set up a system of paying bills and organize my affairs the same way that I do at the Center. Here – this is where my life falters. This is where I am not a good steward of my life. I am fairly common – unfortunately. Many of us “spiritual type” do live in this dichotomy.

But if you’ve been following my blog, what you know about me is this: I never allow good enough to be my standard. Even at my age, even with this being a pattern that has been created over time, I have declared that it will end NOW. I am putting myself on notice and declaring that my home life and all of my personal affairs will now begin to support my inspiration. I will not be at the mercy of what was. Why? Because I know better, I have experienced more than this. I have experienced the full out realization that what was does not determine what is – unless I allow it. I simply haven’t succeeded in applying it here – YET.



So right now, I will begin the process and if necessary, get whatever help and support that I need. I don’t have to do this alone. But with prayer and determination – a powerful combination – I will rise up to have a different life experience. And one of the things that I know is true about this process is that as I become this better steward, my inspired life will be free to be even more expressed and I will not have to entertain regret or guilt about it because I have done the right thing and put order in place. Okay, here I go.

These are Your Hands

Sometimes I am intrigued with myself or should I say amused by myself. I was brought up to be open-minded and loving and compassionate and God was definitely an “inside” entity so I have never had to combat the idea of an outside entity. BUT as I observe myself, my focus and attention and see where I lose myself, it continues to surprise me that God, Spirit, Life gets the greatest proportion of my time and energy. Yes, every day when Spirit is the first thing on my mind, I look back at myself and say – who are you and what did you do with Michelle? Sometimes I feel like some religious freak.

I never saw in my future me having the desire to serve Spirit, me practicing the art of surrender, me saying: THY WILL BE DONE. At celebration this Sunday, our guest musician Chanda Rule sang a song by one of my friends’, Grateful by Christie Snow. God I love her music and I love the way that Chanda and her accompanist Nick performed it. But right there smack in the middle of the song, standing in front of the entire congregation, I found myself raising my arms in praise like I was brought up in a Baptist Church. How did this happen? How did I, a self-pronounced Religious Scientist turn into this demonstrative, singing out loud, and Spirit praising woman? How?

Well, I do have one theory. Spirit in its pure form is absolutely intoxicating, accepting, loving and in a way passionate. Maybe I have just fallen in love with God and this is what my love looks like. Yea, I do believe that is it.

So with some trepidation I declare: my hands are God's hands and I am willing to be used. I am willing to love as God loves and I am willing to live life knowing, THY WILL BE DONE.

Believing in Worldwide Peace in this Lifetime.
Michelle

Jersey Girl Wisdom

For a long time now I've wanted to write a book entitled - Wisdom from a Jersey Girl, but then I think even I would even have trouble taking it seriously. I love being from New Jersey. I love who we are, how we all blend together, and I LOVE our sense of humor - yes the sarcasm.


Yes, we are a little sassy and rough around the edges but I love our edginess. The only time it doesn't work is when we are around people from other parts of this great land. But boy we are most certainly amused by ourselves. I get to travel a few times a year around this country and I get to see value coming home again each and every time.


You see, I am a minister, a Founding Spiritual Director, is the fancy name that we've given it but in the end I am a minister. Every day I am grateful for my sass and my sense of humor. Every day I am grateful for the tolerance I have for people in general and the patience that I've learned. All the experiences of my life - all of them have aided me for what I do. Growing up in an edgy, not-always-so-nice neighborhood made me strong and boy have I needed that both for my job and to handle life as a single mom.


The truth is it has even taught me to be completely appreciative of the presence of Spirit in my life especially because I got tired of trying to do everything on my own. I appreciate Spirit because I get to feel valuable with all of my faults and flaws. I have learned that I deserve every ounce of happiness that I have gleaned from all of my work and practices and simply because I AM. Because of Spirit, I feel forgiven, accepted, valued and worthy - exactly as I am and if you have known me for a long time you will appreciate this even more.


I have done harm, I have made some very bad decisions, I have hurt individuals and thank God, I feel loved anyway. So take it from a Jersey Girl who has been around the block a few times, life, Spirit, God - is always open, available and ready to forgive, love, inspire and support you - right here and now.


Love to all,
Michelle - Jersey Girl

Sometimes it's the simple things

Well I am home from Disney World and filled with memories of rides and great meals, laughs and thoroughly enjoying the company. We played hard, ate amazing meals, rested and found total restoration.
Out of all the memories that will stick out in my mind though, there is one that I will retain that happened BEFORE we even got there. As a matter of fact, we were still in the air, when I found this moment of pure inspiration.
Upon confirming our flight, I moved our seats, for my son and myself, to an emergency isle. I found out that he could not sit there because of his age so we have to be moved - TO THE BACK OF THE PLANE. Now you know who is at the back of the plane don't you? Families with LOTS OF KIDS. Nice ones, cute ones, crying ones, demanding ones - Yikes. My son reminded me that it was all good and I should relax - so I did.
We sat in a seat next to this very young African American man from Newark traveling alone with his 9 month old boy. What a sweet opportunity to be with this baby and I even got to be in service to the dad and hold his son while he went to the rest room. So I guess sitting there was perfect.
But this wasn't what was so wonderful. Sitting across the isle and in front of us was a mixed race family with four children. When the lunch was served, they were only given four meals because they only paid for four seats. My son Seth who was witnessing this turned around and offered his food to the father of those children. Can you imagine that, a thirteen year old American boy, taking time to notice this and responding so beautifully? I was moved then and I am moved now. Sometimes I am in awe of my own son, not because he is mine but because he is so comfortable in his own skin.
I am so thankful to my spiritual community, the Science of Mind teaching and the Teen Group that he has been supported by. He is clearly a product of feeling safe and accepted as he is.