Don't you just hate that statement or at least the idea of that statement? And it has taken forever for me to actually make sense of it. I normally like to at least assume that a motto like this one was originally based in some kind of reality that was worthy of understanding. So I take time with statements like this to try and back into the wisdom or the logic that created it in the first place.
According to dictionary.com nice means: pleasing; agreeable; delightful; amiably pleasant; kind etc.
If you look it up in a thesaurus, it offers: admirable, amiable, approved, attractive; peachy, pleasant, pleasurable, or polite.
We'll come back to this.
I know some nice people, really, some very, very nice people who would open their home to you, give up their bed for you and give you the shirt off their back. I like these people; I aspire at times to be thought of as nice because of how much I like certain people. Are you hearing the but coming. . .
Nice is very good in many places but nice can very definitely get in the way when being nice interrupts progress, productivity or for individuals who want to climb out of the world of mediocrity. Very often an individual will sabotage their own personal desire for greatness, order and success to maintain a composure of niceness. Might this sound familiar to you? Am I speaking about you?
Back to the definition. Nice is nice but I personally want more then nice. Nice is good but it doesn't motivate me. Integrity, success, clarity motivates me. I am inspired by individuals who do not settle for mediocrity and are always reaching for EXCELLENCE. So nice is nice, but I want more.
Let's take a look: imagine you are dealing with someone who agreed to do something but they didn't follow through. Unfortunately for you, you really needed them to do what they said they would do and in not doing so, you cannot complete your part of the project. So you find yourself standing in front of this person asking them about their agreement and they begin to offer you their explanation (code for excuse) and instead of holding them to their agreement, you smile and say you understand. Why? Because you’re NICE! Yikes, how is that working?
What happens when this happens? What happens is that you collude with that individual's self image as less then. What happens is that you sacrifice your desire for order, success and greatness in order to be nice. What happens is, you walk away with a false smile on your face, and this person thinks you’re nice but you are stuck in the loop of mediocrity.
As a graduate of Landmark Education's Forum and Advance course, I was deeply moved by their focus on clarity, greatness and integrity. The influence of this education left me reaching for a greater experience of my leadership and what has become crystal clear is being nice is a form of self-sabotage. Greatness, potency, accomplishment and excellence are a different mindset and standard then nice. Thank God I have also now learned that you can hold someone to their agreement in support of their greatness. This means that when I choose to collude with greatness sometimes the idea of just being nice has got to go. So in a way, I am taking a stand for them more than they are for themselves. Because the norm is comfortable and greatness makes us stretch.
Nice guys finish last because they take the crumbs, they want to be nice more then they want to experience their greatness, because they don't want to push people and leave a bad taste in any one's mouth. But there is salvation, you can be nice and be clear; you can be nice and collude with the greatness of others; you can be nice and live a life beyond mediocrity.
Nice guys can finish first! How? Be nice and clear. Be nice and definite. Be nice and collude with your highest and best and the highest and best of others. Don't let people let you down because they can't do that without letting others down. Take a stand for greatness, yours and others!
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