I am so incredibly blessed to take on the title and mantle of teacher. Being a mother and a teacher are the two most rewarding roles that I could serve in my life. Both of them however are riddled with complications and other interesting elements.
Being a mom isn’t always a breeze, it is filled with worry (if you subscribe to it) and upset and a mélange of emotions that you don’t even know you have until you are feeling it. It is kind of like exercising and then finding muscles that you didn’t know you have. It has become very evident to me that my pleasure of being a mom can easily be sabotaged by my own demands and expectations. I see where my upset is born and the reality is most of the time it is just because I am busy wanting something to be what it is NOT.
Now being a Teacher has this whole other dimension to it and that dimension is: objectivity. Similar to both parenting and teaching, one of the greatest pleasures is being a witness to someone’s growth. As a teacher, I can sometimes almost feel guilty at the amount of pleasure I get in watching live time transformation. The beauty of doing this for so many years now is with my experience I am enjoying increased confidence which benefits each student who is in my classroom and within reach of my influence. Guiding these students and working with them to support their transformation happens with more ease and grace then ever and transformation happens in a much shorter time frame than ever.
But the temptation to feel guilty is only because I get so much more out of supporting and teaching others than they do. I am sure of this because through the time I invest in my preparation of a lesson or a Sunday celebration I am basking in material and truths and realities that are constantly pulling me to a higher state of expression. Sure it is possible to keep it all very cerebral but that is not me. For me – I must grow, I must expand in consciousness and I must be always in the unfolding of my Divine Expression. If you want to be extraordinarily happy, teach. Take your expertise and give it away, whatever it is. The world will benefit but never as much as you.
The element of teacher that took some getting used to was watching the students as they grew in their friendship with each other and would leave to gather, make plans, go out but NOT with me. While I constantly fall in love with all of my students, I had to learn that I was their teacher and not their friend and this definitely took some getting used to.
So, thank you to all my students, my clients, my members. Thank you for mirroring back to me where I must grow. Thank you for the pleasure of service. Thank you for allowing me to witness your truth as you find your liberation from the collective way of thinking. Thank you for your bravery and your heart. Thank you for providing me with the opportunity to live into a new truth and bask in the glory of one of the greatest professions there is – TEACHER.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Loving my Shadow
A couple of weeks ago at my Center we viewed the new spiritual film, The Shadow Effect, by Debbie Ford. If you have never had any exposure to Debbie’s book or to the concept of Shadow Effect, I would take time to get to see this film or at least get her book, The Dark Side of the Shadow Chasers. It lays down a very good foundation of a psychological formula that has been around since Carl Jung but Debbie Ford brings it into reach both in understanding and in its practical nature for healing. (We are showing the film again at my Center this coming Friday evening, October 23rd. Check it out: www.cslnj.org) While you are on the site, check out the announcement about the workshop that is also being taught on Saturday, October 24th called: Loving the Shadow by a friend of mine who is a Debbie Ford coach.
Pros and Cons of Shadow work.
Cons: It can be very intimidating and very scary to look inside yourself to see what you see. Once in there, truths are revealed that you have systematically albeit unconsciously buried so you could deal with them. If you have been in any kind of depression, I would only work with this material with the support of a coach or practitioner, someone who has done the work and truly understands. Left alone, it can be difficult to work with and don’t plain scary as I said earlier.
Pros: If you would like to live your life being fully alive, fully expressed, healthy, and happy, then this is the work to do. Once you move past the shock of what you’ve buried and how you have projected it onto others, then all of the aforementioned becomes your beautiful daily experience. Me – I love my shadow. I love the good and the not so good. I love the nurturing, loving, tender parts of me, but I also love my witch and my bitch. Why, you might ask? Because in learning to love the all of me, and not judging the parts, I have made room for a more satisfying life experience. I’m not afraid of what I don’t see any more. I’m always willing to look inside and to be amused by what’s there.
Now I really know that YOU are not my issue. My son, my friend, my neighbor or the guy behind the counter are not the problem. Now I know that my challenges live within me, within reach, where I can do something about it. That which is inside of me is available to me and I can love it ALIVE and HEALTHY.
So yes, I love my shadow and I hope you do too.
Pros and Cons of Shadow work.
Cons: It can be very intimidating and very scary to look inside yourself to see what you see. Once in there, truths are revealed that you have systematically albeit unconsciously buried so you could deal with them. If you have been in any kind of depression, I would only work with this material with the support of a coach or practitioner, someone who has done the work and truly understands. Left alone, it can be difficult to work with and don’t plain scary as I said earlier.
Pros: If you would like to live your life being fully alive, fully expressed, healthy, and happy, then this is the work to do. Once you move past the shock of what you’ve buried and how you have projected it onto others, then all of the aforementioned becomes your beautiful daily experience. Me – I love my shadow. I love the good and the not so good. I love the nurturing, loving, tender parts of me, but I also love my witch and my bitch. Why, you might ask? Because in learning to love the all of me, and not judging the parts, I have made room for a more satisfying life experience. I’m not afraid of what I don’t see any more. I’m always willing to look inside and to be amused by what’s there.
Now I really know that YOU are not my issue. My son, my friend, my neighbor or the guy behind the counter are not the problem. Now I know that my challenges live within me, within reach, where I can do something about it. That which is inside of me is available to me and I can love it ALIVE and HEALTHY.
So yes, I love my shadow and I hope you do too.
Be the teacher
Being a teacher - of sorts - must be what was always mine to do. I say this because it is probably the ONLY thing in my life that has come easy, that I have never felt intimidated by, that I didn't have to build up my confidence around and that I was fairly good at from the beginning. I know many teachers, all different in their approaches and all very good at what they do. I’m not trying to say that I am the best at what I do compared to anyone else, I’m simply saying that for me in my world, I am absolutely satisfied for what I bring to the classroom and for what my students receive from me.
I LOVE to teach. I love the mind of the new student and I love the mind of the more experienced student. BUT what I love most about teaching is how much I learn. My learning of any subject that I am currently teaching is quadrupled by the act of teaching it. By being the teacher, I must know my subject matter, I must be prepared. During the time of contemplating my subject and how I would like to bring the subject alive in my classroom, I get to live with the material, ponder it, apply it and often move more deeply into the lesson.
Teaching teaches the teacher. I remember reading somewhere many years ago that the best way to really learn something was to teach someone what you’ve just learned – a willing listener of course. The article said to teach the subject matter within 24 hours of hearing it and it would solidify itself in you. I have put this to practice and I do find it to be true.
Many of my most significant moments, realizations and self-discoveries have come while preparing for a class, workshop or Sunday Celebration. So here is what I have to say about this, if you really want to get a lesson deep inside of you be the TEACHER. Share what you’ve learned from your enthusiasm especially if it was life changing for you. It doesn’t have to be in the classroom, it simply can be a phone call with a friend. This way, you will always be the best student, because the material will take hold inside of you.
Enjoy. Teach.
I LOVE to teach. I love the mind of the new student and I love the mind of the more experienced student. BUT what I love most about teaching is how much I learn. My learning of any subject that I am currently teaching is quadrupled by the act of teaching it. By being the teacher, I must know my subject matter, I must be prepared. During the time of contemplating my subject and how I would like to bring the subject alive in my classroom, I get to live with the material, ponder it, apply it and often move more deeply into the lesson.
Teaching teaches the teacher. I remember reading somewhere many years ago that the best way to really learn something was to teach someone what you’ve just learned – a willing listener of course. The article said to teach the subject matter within 24 hours of hearing it and it would solidify itself in you. I have put this to practice and I do find it to be true.
Many of my most significant moments, realizations and self-discoveries have come while preparing for a class, workshop or Sunday Celebration. So here is what I have to say about this, if you really want to get a lesson deep inside of you be the TEACHER. Share what you’ve learned from your enthusiasm especially if it was life changing for you. It doesn’t have to be in the classroom, it simply can be a phone call with a friend. This way, you will always be the best student, because the material will take hold inside of you.
Enjoy. Teach.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Happy Anniversary to our Center
Seven years of work,
and joy.
Seven years of growth,
and resistance to growing.
Seven years with some pain and tears,
and seven years of reaching to God
and prayer partners for support.
Having good income.
Having terrible income.
Getting paid and NOT - whew, glad that's over.
Seven years of serving the Science of Mind and God
and the members and the organization,
all of them satisfying - hum.
Seven years of learning what I'm good at,
and what I'm not so good at - and learning to accept both.
Yes, seven years ago, a small band of us gave birth to a new
and beautiful idea. I would not have wanted to do anything else.
Thank you to everyone who ever did anything to support this idea.
Today I am feeling very blessed to be a minister and to called to serve.
and joy.
Seven years of growth,
and resistance to growing.
Seven years with some pain and tears,
and seven years of reaching to God
and prayer partners for support.
Having good income.
Having terrible income.
Getting paid and NOT - whew, glad that's over.
Seven years of serving the Science of Mind and God
and the members and the organization,
all of them satisfying - hum.
Seven years of learning what I'm good at,
and what I'm not so good at - and learning to accept both.
Yes, seven years ago, a small band of us gave birth to a new
and beautiful idea. I would not have wanted to do anything else.
Thank you to everyone who ever did anything to support this idea.
Today I am feeling very blessed to be a minister and to called to serve.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Miracles are real although they are not miracles at all.
Back when . . .
Many years ago for sometime – I’m not avoiding telling you how long, I simply don’t remember – I was in therapy. I don’t remember ever really getting all that much from it except I did absolutely love my psychologist at the time; mainly because I felt safe with him and feeling safe with any man was not my norm back then.
Now . . .
At this time, many years out of therapy and many years studying the Science of Mind and inducing Spirit through my spiritual practices, I find that now my life is richer, more beautiful and much, much healthier. I am more emotionally and spiritually healthy then ever and most of the time I am just plain happy even if the outside world does not reassure me that all is well. Happy, I have learned, is very much a choice and not the result of being prosperous or in love.
Recently my thirty-one year old son moved back into my house for an undetermined amount of time. I was only too willing to make space for him once again both in my heart and at the hearth. What I also knew was that he left as a young man but returned as a man and I needed to remember that and treat him accordingly with all the appropriate respect of an adult. I, well we, both knew that that there would be some challenges. (Initally it was not looking good at all, I admit, I was concerned.)Thank God that I did, however, have faith in possibility because I know that I am not the woman I was then. I have strength and resolve now that is born of my practices, my meditation and my prayers. I am no longer walking the earth in fear, not of anything outside or inside.
The other day while spending time pondering our home situation and wondering what could possibly be the source of our collective pain; I started to remember how much I had always adored him and how much I fought for him and his highest good – THAT IS UNTIL HE LEFT. Yes, at eighteen, Michael decided that the world at large was a better place to be then the sanctuary of his own home. This hit me very, very hard. I was devastated. And while I was doing all of this pondering the other day, I allowed a feeling to come up inside of me that I was unaware of for over a decade. I was harboring: You left me. Yes, silently, deeply and oh so painfully, I was hurt, angry and profoundly sad that Michael had choose to leave (me).
At the moment that this emotion was unearthed, I was able to feel it in the depth of my soul. I felt it everywhere, absolutely everywhere and I realized that I have been afraid to feel safe around him. I was working with an “objection” to him not because of who he is but because I was terrified of feeling that pain again. So here is my miracle: At the moment of this realization something shifted inside of me so powerfully that I could see that all of my current pain and fear was based on something old and just as quickly as I allowed myself to feel it fully – IT left. The feeling left. The pain left. The energy behind the story left. And immediately and dramatically EVERYTHING CHANGED. Without a single conversation or confrontation or explanation life between us and in the home became easier, gentler, sweet, cooperative and loving.
Over a week later and I am still reporting that we have experienced only Peace, cooperation and fun in the house. The moral of this story - OUR HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB. As within, so without has never meant so much to me as this moment. I am blessed to have been guided gently through this process of transformation. Thank you Spirit.
Many years ago for sometime – I’m not avoiding telling you how long, I simply don’t remember – I was in therapy. I don’t remember ever really getting all that much from it except I did absolutely love my psychologist at the time; mainly because I felt safe with him and feeling safe with any man was not my norm back then.
Now . . .
At this time, many years out of therapy and many years studying the Science of Mind and inducing Spirit through my spiritual practices, I find that now my life is richer, more beautiful and much, much healthier. I am more emotionally and spiritually healthy then ever and most of the time I am just plain happy even if the outside world does not reassure me that all is well. Happy, I have learned, is very much a choice and not the result of being prosperous or in love.
Recently my thirty-one year old son moved back into my house for an undetermined amount of time. I was only too willing to make space for him once again both in my heart and at the hearth. What I also knew was that he left as a young man but returned as a man and I needed to remember that and treat him accordingly with all the appropriate respect of an adult. I, well we, both knew that that there would be some challenges. (Initally it was not looking good at all, I admit, I was concerned.)Thank God that I did, however, have faith in possibility because I know that I am not the woman I was then. I have strength and resolve now that is born of my practices, my meditation and my prayers. I am no longer walking the earth in fear, not of anything outside or inside.
The other day while spending time pondering our home situation and wondering what could possibly be the source of our collective pain; I started to remember how much I had always adored him and how much I fought for him and his highest good – THAT IS UNTIL HE LEFT. Yes, at eighteen, Michael decided that the world at large was a better place to be then the sanctuary of his own home. This hit me very, very hard. I was devastated. And while I was doing all of this pondering the other day, I allowed a feeling to come up inside of me that I was unaware of for over a decade. I was harboring: You left me. Yes, silently, deeply and oh so painfully, I was hurt, angry and profoundly sad that Michael had choose to leave (me).
At the moment that this emotion was unearthed, I was able to feel it in the depth of my soul. I felt it everywhere, absolutely everywhere and I realized that I have been afraid to feel safe around him. I was working with an “objection” to him not because of who he is but because I was terrified of feeling that pain again. So here is my miracle: At the moment of this realization something shifted inside of me so powerfully that I could see that all of my current pain and fear was based on something old and just as quickly as I allowed myself to feel it fully – IT left. The feeling left. The pain left. The energy behind the story left. And immediately and dramatically EVERYTHING CHANGED. Without a single conversation or confrontation or explanation life between us and in the home became easier, gentler, sweet, cooperative and loving.
Over a week later and I am still reporting that we have experienced only Peace, cooperation and fun in the house. The moral of this story - OUR HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB. As within, so without has never meant so much to me as this moment. I am blessed to have been guided gently through this process of transformation. Thank you Spirit.
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