As Love Unfolds

           The dust has settled and my feet are grounded again—thank God—but they most definitely have settled on higher, more luscious ground. Even after being single for as long as I was, which was shocking to me to begin with, I never identified myself as an individual that "would be without a man." Truth be told, I needed to be alone, and I needed to be alone for as long as I was.

In that alone time, I grew strong, faithful and confident; not so much in myself, but in the God of me, and I learned that I was capable in so many more areas then I could ever imagine. Mostly though I learned how to handle the pain of upset, disappointment and loneliness, and in learning how to navigate through those emotional waters, I became someone that someone would want to be with.

I left behind many tendencies that quite honestly are simply unattractive. I was never one to play the delicate woman who always needed a man, but I was needy in order to feel complete, and that is something that just does not live inside me anymore, anywhere. At this juncture, I bring the all of me to my relationship—to my man—but not out of a need for completion, but out of a desire to share my life, my fullness, my love and the expansion of my consciousness.

With all this being said, there is still a lot to learn. In an earlier blog, I declared that the me that I am has never been in a relationship, and that is so true; but because I am dealing with a new me, my old references are gone, the games are gone, and the automatic anything is gone. I live in a constant state of who am I, how do I feel about this and how would I like to proceed. The good news is that everything that transpires within my relationship is a definite reflection of feeling worthy to have this abundant love and man in my life. I bring a level of honesty and compassion that I used to save for people I didn’t know. How crazy is that? (Do you ever find that you are nicer to strangers than those living under your own roof?)

Since life never stops being life, there are things and feelings to handle and respond to; there is that dance that new lovers do that is a bit clumsy as they are each trying to learn the dance steps of that particular team. Staying awake and aware are key here, and the single most important thing that I hold onto in every moment is this: I am okay no matter what. A few years ago, I finally got the total and complete meaning of the spiritual truth that is taught: no one is against you. I will forever remember when this became true to the core of my being, and so why would this be different within an intimate relationship? It’s not: it still remains true and it carries me within our investigations of each other.

So here’s where I am: in love, in spiritual practice, in greater love, in greater spiritual practice and then, yes, in greater love. My love grows from my grounding in Truth, God and Unconditional Love. So love is unfolding, one sweet, delicious petal at a time, as it opens itself, exposing its fragrance and delicate ways. There can only be once response—thank you, thank you, thank you. And this process begs me to constantly remember that the love I am so thoroughly engaging in is the love that I bring to the experience, because I worked my butt off to learn how to love and accept myself as I am. And this love, lover and loving relationship is most definitely an out-picturing of my consciousness.

By the way, none of this truth takes away from the fact that I happen to be in love with an amazing, sensitive, awake human who is willing to meet me in the fire of transformation. For those of you who know me personally, how could I have had it any other way?

All my love,

Michelle