Can't we all just get along

            As they all got into my car (they being four sweaty, excited and fun-loving teenagers), a conversation ensued, which was appropriate to the season but definitely challenging to my son. The question and following conversation began with: “What did you give up for Lent?”  The words struck a reaction in me and immediately I knew that I would have to run interference on my son’s behalf who has learned–at least it seems real–that it is not safe to be too different with certain things while living in Small Town, USA.

             The last time he ventured off into sharing about his religion and beliefs, his friend never let him forget it and for the longest time he offered commentary while they would be in group gatherings with their friends. So run interference I did and glad of it because after he knew that I was there for him and he felt safe, that is when he shared the story with me about his friend, which I never knew until last night. Knowing this explains a lot of his reactions to me. Now I get it. Now I can reflect back and make sense of other conversations that were avoided, or of comments and denials that were made. Now I get it.

I can remember that from my youth also: growing up in a mostly Irish/Italian/Catholic town, being religiously different, believing in an inner and everywhere present God was not welcomed and definitely caused separation. There are a lot of things that one does not get invited to when you are not part of the crowd. Thank God for bar mitzvahs or Seth wouldn’t go to anything spiritually related with his friends.

I must say though, it is a sad day when our children are not welcome to be different, to be who they are, to stand slightly off to the right of something. What a missed opportunity for others who don’t feel  safe enough to have a conversation or inquiry that shows true curiosity and interest in another. Have we as a global society not grown past feeling threatened when someone is different? The richness of our practice is being missed as we lend ourselves to avoiding conversations.

In April, I am performing a wedding ceremony for a young couple: the wife-to-be was brought up Catholic and the husband-to-be didn’t have a huge religious influence. I am so totally delighted to perform this wedding because I have known the groom since before he could walk but this is how the conversation went. And mind you, I will be speaking to this with them. I’ve been invited to perform at the party BUT they will be getting married by the priest the night before because the family wanted to see them get married “in the eyes of God.” WOW. At what point did I cease representing the spiritual side of marriage? Now, I understand and have no energy about this personally but some education is definitely called for here.

I look forward to the day when those of us who practice any religion or spiritual practice outside of the accepted Christian Judaic religion are asked to the table, welcomed to the table or proudly setting our own table to which we will invite in ALL OTHERS. I look forward to the day when we measure someone by their actions and not by the sacred text that they carry if they carry one. I look forward to experiencing all people as my extended spiritual family─ even when I don’t agree with them.  Join me in this dream, won’t you?  Join me in dreaming, peace, poise and possibility. Let’s walk hand in hand in love, in grace in God/Good/Beauty/Spirit/Life.