If you knew me before now, in high school, as a young adult and young mother, as someone struggling to get through life. . .
If you saw me making my mistakes, mistake after mistake. . .
If you saw me throwing back shots of tequila and staying out late. . .
If you were close enough to watch how I miraculously made my life work by keeping my home in decent order, putting food on the table, getting my children off to school, having my life appear as normal, creating birthday and holiday experiences and always working –and all of this while being depressed and not plugged into Spirit. . .
Then you witnessed a woman holding onto life by the skin of her teeth and you probably would never have confused me with being a faith-filled, spirit guided individual. I wasn’t. I didn’t have Source then. I was alone.
OH BUT NOT. . .
Now in my quiet moments, I acknowledge my Beloved in this way – and no I am not some radical religious freak – I just love God.
To my Beloved,
I wake in the mornings and I just want to crawl inside your skin, sweet Spirit.
I ready myself to lose my identity as Michelle and be seen only as you, seen only in your reflection.
I make room for you in my thinking, my breathing, and my awake moments and when asleep.
And when I feel lost or alone or confused – it is you that I turn to, you that I love, you that I lose myself in, my Beloved.
I guess this is why I love the writings of Rumi and Hafiz, they so loved God.
So now, I keep my home in decent order, put food on the table, get my youngest off to school and my eldest off to the train station, my life IS normal, still creating birthday and holiday experiences and yes, I work a lot – but now I am full, alive and fully expressed. And you would probably not recognize me, I know that I don’t.
So as the saying goes: Before Enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. (not to imply I am fully enlightened but the journey is sweet and so much fun)
