For many years, my son Seth and I have functioned a bit like each other's side-kick. Yes, my other sons, and now my new daughter-in-love, were in our lives, but mostly it was Seth and I making our way through. Once my middle son, Keith, moved out with his fiancée, Seth and I were dependent on each other for so many things—mostly for being there for each other. This was good, and worked perfectly for both of us.
It would be no surprise to anyone who was close to us that the entrance of a new entity—especially one that would be taking up so much of my time and attention, not to mention space in my driveway and my bed—was going to mess with this formula that was cultivated over so many years. But me being me and Seth being Seth would require that this major change in "mommy's" life would have to have some ease and grace with it.
Now even a very mature 15-year-old might not consciously require such a thing as ease and grace, but when you are a PK (preacher's kid), especially one who has been reared around a high conversation regarding consciousness, responsibility for one's life, Truth, integrity and God, the desire for life to be and feel good becomes innate. So I watch as he works to share his mom, and most times he does it with great respect. He sits with mom's new distraction, converses, complains together when the Giants are losing, and greets him with a smile and enthusiasm. That part is all working beautifully.
The other aspect is pure conjecture on my part, but I do believe a reasonable and logical one; but again, my conjecture and probably, if I'm honest, a projection. The part that is still distracted in this beautiful son of mine is the little boy in him, the part he doesn't know exists—the part that will feel concern over a major change and how this change will affect the totality of his life. All of this is perfectly natural and we, my new distraction and I, are dedicated to making room for Seth to be as he is in his perfection.
What truly is beautiful here is the way in which all of my sons are happy for me. They, each in their own way, are welcoming this beautiful person into my life probably because of how happy I am. But still, it is a very interesting time for me to see my sons as the amazing, wondering, loving and mature beings who only want the best for me. Each of them in his own way is making room for one more. Yes, one more at our kitchen table gatherings (we love to sit close to each other around a small table when the dining room is very available), one more in our holiday rituals, one more in their scheduled time with me, and I know, over time, each will make room for one more in their hearts as well.
All this would not have been possible though if I had not made room in my heart. And this is why I keep up my spiritual practices at all times. This is why I keep up my conscious languaging, my prayer work, my time for contemplation. When we heal inside, our world changes form, our bodies change form, and our hearts open to more good. My sons can make room for one more because I finally said Yes and shifted the whole world with my Yes.
Stay in practice, stay awake and for God's sake STAY IN LOVE!
